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...Mere kapde uttro???

Lady doctor pagal patient se- Mera Dupatta Utaro!!!

Pagal- Ok!!!

Lady doc- Ab Meri Kameez Utaro!

Pagal- Ok!

Lady doc- Ab jaldi se Meri Salwar b utaro, jaldi utaro naa..!

Pagal- Okey! Uttar diya!!!

Lady doc- or Aainda Kbi Mere Kapde Nhi Pehnoge, Ok...

.
.
.
Aur Aaj 1 baar fir Apki soch dirty mind rahi,
aakhir aap apni soch kb badloge

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Sexy adult Shayari???

Ladka bola :

Mujhe to apno ne loota hai, gairo mein kaha dum tha
Mujhe to apno ne loota hai, gairo mein kaha dum tha
Meri kasti doobi waha , jaha pani kum tha.

Ladki boli :

Tum to ho hi g@ndu, tumhari ga@nd mein kaha dum tha
Tum to ho hi ga@du, tumhari ga@d mein kaha dum tha
Waha kya gaand maraane gaye the, jaha pani kum tha.

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...Kyu ki lund ke paas dimag nahi hota???

Jo khushi se karne de use karne se paap nahi hota,
kuwari ho to L@and kharab nahi hota,
hamesha Condom laga ke karnamere Dost...
kyu ki L@nd k paas Dimag nahi hota

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...gaand me bhi ungli kar aate:Shayari???

Arz kiya hai........
Agar asmaan tak aap ke hath jate,
Agar asmaan tak aap ke hath jate..
to Chand Sitare to kya, Pariyon ki Ga@nd me bhi aap ungli kar Aate...

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...Milta hai sirf hilane ko???

Kyaa diya kudrat ne jamane ko?
ek diya ghusane ko, do diya dabane ko,
par aaj kal ye sab kahan miltahai?
milta hai sirf hilane ko.

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...Gaand fat gai :Shayari???

Raat bhar SMS kiya raat kat gai,
Raat bhar SMS kiya raat kat gai,

......
Subah jab Balance dekha G@nd fat gai

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...Lund ke aag laga di: Shayari???

Light ki gair maujudgi mein Galib farmate hai...
Hum toh yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,
Koi Behen ka lauda Mombatti samajh kar maachis laga gaya...

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...Wah re chodane wale: Shayari???

Chodte chodte Subah Ho Gyi,
Lund Me Pad Gye Chaale,
.
.
.
Chut Fat K Gufa Ho Gyi
Wah Re Chodne Wale...!!!

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Adult professional talks/conversation???

Ladies/Girl ke sath log kaise baat karte hai???
Petrol Wala: Kitna Dalu?
Dhobi: Aap Kapde Nikal Ke Rakho, Mai Abhi aata hoon....
Xerox Wala: Aage Piche dono Taraf Se Karu, Ya Sirf ek Side Se...
Fruit wala : Kele ka size to dekho, dil khush ho jayega.....
Bank wala : So so ke du tu chalega ?
Auto wala : Aage se nahi jayega, piche se lu ?
Paper wala : Kal me neeche se dal ke gaya tha.

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...Shuru kar dabana???

Salim ne suhagrat ko kaha-"janeman, tere kadmo me rakh dunga sara khazana"

Anarkali- "teri maa ke bhosdi me gaya tera khazana, andar dal aur shuru kar dabana...

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Bathroom me hila leta hu: Shayari???

Teri yaad aati hai to khada hojata hai,

Chaddi ke undar bada ho jata hai,
Tu nahi pass ye soch ke Dil behla leta hu,
Bathroom me jakar hath se hila leta hu!!!

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...What is Balatkar..???

INDIA KI REET:

Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to pyaar.
Agar dost dilwaye to UPHAR.
Ghar wale delwaye to SANSKAR.
AUR
Hum apne aap le le to BALATKAR!!!

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...chut kitani tight hai???

Girl:Meri Chut me ungli dalo.Dusri bhi dalo.

chalo ab pura hath dalo.ab dusra hath bhi dalo or tali bajao.

Boy:nahin bajti.

Girl:Dekha kitani tight hai???

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...School bag me condom???

Ek Din Santa Ne Socha Ki Beta School Ka Kaam Karta Hai Ya Nahi,
Ye Dekhne Ke Liye Pappu Ka School Bag Check Kiya To Useme Ek Condom Mila.

Santa Gusse Mein Aake: “ Kutte, Tuje Sharam Nahi Aati???
Is Umar Mein School Bag Mein Condom Rakhta Hai? ”

Pappu: “ To Fir Mai Kya Karu Bhonsdi Ke, Itni Chhoti Si Umar Mein Baap Ban Jau!!!

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...Meri gaand marlo...???

Man: Sex ho jaye?

Wife: No.

Man: Jewar le dunga.

Wife: No.

Man: Car le dunga.

Wife: No, No, No.

Beta so raha tha, beech me bola, Meri gaand marlo,

Cycle la dena

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Post-woman Jokes???

Duniya me Postman to hote hain

Magar

Post woman nahi hoti...

Why..?

?

?

?

Qki wo

ek hi

Dellivery me

9 Mahine laga

Deti hain

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...Apna lund chusa diya Humne :Shayari???

Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,

Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.

Dekr Lalach Use 'ICE-CREAM' Ka,

Andhere Me Apna "LUND"chusa Diya Humne...

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Shayari: ...wo dophar se hi condom lagaye baithe hay???

SHAAM DIYO SE SJAYE BAITHE HAY,

KHUSHBU SASO ME BASAYE BAITHE HAI,

UNKI DIWANGI TO DEKHO,

GIRL FRIEND RAAT KO ANE WALI HAI,

OR WO DOPAHAR SE HI CONDOM LAGAYE BAITHE HAY!!!

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Sexy adult shayari???

Badan uska silky ho,

Breast uski milky ho,

Dekhne me chikni ho,

Pehni usne bikini ho,

Neche uske chimney ho....

Lamba apna danda ho jo uski chut me jakar thanda ho!!!

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Noun Defination....

Teacher: What is a Noun???
.
.
.
Chote paji : Oye madam g.....
Arz kiya hai...
Kutta bhi hota hai apni gali me
king,
A Noun is the name of any person ,
place or
thing. !

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Promotion bhi logi kya???

Ladki Interview Ke Liye Ek
Company Mein Gayi.
Boss Saare Certificates Dekh Ke Bola:
"Ye Sab To Theek Hai, Lekin Tumhari
Ability Kya Hai?"
Ladki
Young Hun,
Dynamic Hun,
Sincere Hun,
Honest Hun,
Hard Working Hun,
Qualified Hun,
Experienced Hun,
Deserving Hun,
Typing Aati Hun,
Files Arrangement Aati Hai,
Computer Mein Expert Hun,
Thoda Accounts Bhi Janti Hun
Boss: "Bas Yahi Aata Hai Ya Aur Bhi
Kuch Aata Hai?"
Ladki
Disease Free Aur Healthy Hun,
Copper T Lagayi Hai,
Aur
Sabse Zaruri Baat Ki Apne Flat Mein
Akeli Rehti Hu.
Boss: "Ab Bass Bhi Kar Pagli, Joining
Ke Din Hi Promotion Bhi Logi
Kya?"....

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...ungli ka bhi Barosa nahi raha....

A Girl visit Dr. for a urine test. By mistake her reports change. Dr says her. U r pregnant.
Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka bhi Barosa nahi raha...

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...ungli ka bhi Barosa nahi raha....

A Girl visit Dr. for a urine test. By mistake her reports change. Dr says her. U r pregnant.
Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka bhi Barosa nahi raha...

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...ungli ka bhi Barosa nahi raha....

A Girl visit Dr. for a urine test. By mistake her reports change. Dr says her. U r pregnant.
Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka bhi Barosa nahi raha...

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...ungli ka bhi Barosa nahi raha....

A Girl visit Dr. for a urine test. By mistake her reports change. Dr says her. U r pregnant.
Girls reply. Oh God Ab tu ungali ka bhi Barosa nahi raha...

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Zang lag gaya hai!

Lady: Doc. I got brown discharge at my vagina... is it infection?
Doc: How often do u hve sex?
Lady: Once a month.
Doc: Yeh infection nahi, zang lag gaya hai!!!

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wo apna saaman pechaan lenge.

Pati: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan kahin chhupa kar rakh do, padosi aa rahe hain.
Patni: Kyonji! Kya Aapke dost chura lenge?
Pati: are Nahin, who apna saaman pehchaan lenge.

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May bhi baap banne wala hooon!!!

Patni: Aap bahut mote ho Gaye ho!!!
pati: Tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho.
patni: Main to maa banne wali hoon!!!
pati: Main bhi to baap banne wala hoon....

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Pagal to kuch bhi kar sakra hai...

Husband: Agar tumhe kuch ho jata to mein bhi pagal ho jaata!!!
Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey na ?
Husband: Pagal ka kya hai, Pagal to kuch bhi kar sakta hai!!!

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...2 din se lift le rahi hoon?

Ek ladki sadak par akeli jaa rahi thi, pichhe se ek ladka bolata hai : Ghar tak lift chahiye kya?
Ladki : Bhag jaa harami !!! 2 din se lift le rahi hoon abhi tak ghar nahi pahuchi.

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...to aap lund samajh rahey thay?

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain?
SON : papa may bataoo?
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo.
SON : may batata hoo ... AANKHE
PAPA : ohh haan!!!
SON : to kya aap lund samajh rahay thay!!!???

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Dek kar b Shaadi ki

Biwi - Maine tumhe bina dekhe he tumse Shaadi kar li...
Husband-Aur meri himmat to dekho,
Maine tumhe dekh kar bhi tumse Shaadi kar li...!!!

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Dek kar b Shaadi ki

Biwi - Maine tumhe bina dekhe he tumse Shaadi kar li...
Husband-Aur meri himmat to dekho,
Maine tumhe dekh kar bhi tumse Shaadi kar li...!!!

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Dek kar b Shaadi ki

Biwi - Maine tumhe bina dekhe he tumse Shaadi kar li...
Husband-Aur meri himmat to dekho,
Maine tumhe dekh kar bhi tumse Shaadi kar li...!!!

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1 Ladka, Ladki dekhne Gaya
Bahut der se SUSU rok rakha tha
baad mein Ladki se bola
SUSU karne ki jagah dikhao.
Ladki sharmate huye:
PAHLE AAP DIKHAO.

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-Imran Hashmi-

---On Cosmetic Shop---

--- Ek Lipstick Daina---

---Shop Keeper---

---Kon Sa Colour doo….---

---Imran Hashmi say---

----Yaar Colour ko Chodo..

----Taste Acha sa

Hona Chahiye------

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Ek Sharabi Sadhu se Takra Gaya.
Sadhu: Murkh, Main Tujhe Sharaap Deta hoon.
Sharabi: Ruko, Main Glass leke Aata Hoon. ....

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Teri Girlfriend Kitni Bhi Sharif Hogi..

Wah Wah…. Wah Wah……

Teri Girlfriend Kitni Bhi Sharif Hogi..
Wah Wah…..

Par Nahati To Nangi Hi Hogi...!!

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Pinki ask to chandu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 1 or mere paas nahi hain?
chandu : Tail !!!
Pinki: woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
Chandu: Money
Pinki : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
Chandu: neend lete hain
Pinki: woh kia hai jo ladki pehli bar karwate huye pain...
ki wajah se roti hai?
Chandu: Teeka!!

MORAL: Plz aap bhi pappu ki tarhan good thinking man banai!!!

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